Heidely-ho from your pals in locker room 1! Some good action last night, as your underlords had the early slot followed by Drunken Uncles Christmas, complete with a Secret Satan. Chewy gifted one of the boys with an I Can’t Believe It’s Not Dildo, which led to some hijinx, and he was gifted a leotard that was so tight it may have led to our 2nd vasectomy of the season. As for the games:

• – Seesaw battle and some chippy play between Diddlers and Skirts, player of the game goes to scorekeeper D for stirring our sloppy josephs between periods.
• – Krustys-Dons was technically a hockey game, but there were not enough boos in this world to suffer through that whole slog.
• – Kwikies-Jailbirds was one hell of a heckle fest. The drunken asses serenades the rink with some Rudolph.
• – Evil Soccer Mom from the wings played like a real piece of shit, laying the lumber all over the place. You could see Waddell calculating whether to rip his head off, but more boring heads prevailed. What do we officially call this fella? Soccer Dad / Psycho Dad? Scummy Bear? We need to figure this one out.
• – player of the night goes to Jim-Jim-Jim of the quickies, with the winning SLEWFOOT GOAL with 1:30 left. It was just awesome, puck on the goal line in a ad’s skates, so our man sent him the moon and put the bisky in the baskey. It was so good I jumped up and down, it really made me CUM-AGAAAAIN!!!
• – OK 4th by Krustys – they hung for hours, but didn’t go in the stands to heckle. C+ effort.
• – Solid 4th by Qwikies, good shower game and they hung til damn near 3. A+ effort.

Thats all for now, gotta limber up for a good old fashioned 666999.