It is my sworn testimony that Diamond Joe’s were up 4-3 in the 3rd when Hussa scored from behind the 3pt line defeating the more honorable, winded team of seven skaters, sealing victory for the forces of evil. Additionally, Carmack assisted on each goal for both teams.

Any suggestion that Kundrat gave me his parking space for my new Qatari jet is patently false and will be met with charges of libel from my legal team.

Hey Shit-Birdinos! Time for another newsletter from the damned souls of Locker Room #1! We are thinking about painting the room red and green, and lightly considering asking permission to do so first!

• – Chalky week with all the favorites winning. Tilted Kilts and Dirty Dirty Mayors did a nice job to cover the spread, especially with most of Team Blue on strike.
• – Our Diddlers went with Island Night, sporting cornbread/rice/jerked bird, topping it off with Piña Coladas
• – Great spread by Kwikies with the hot dog AND slushy machine going, Big Wad living up to the name. Texts from their boys got more incoherent as the night progressed, you love to see it.
• – Diddlers are rocking Catalina Wine Mixer for Super Saturday, I informed El Capos but anyone who wants to join in or augment the fun is welcome, Diamond Joe’s is already in on post-game tuna steaks.