| 1st Star - Bruce | ||
 | Monday 9:00 PM |  |
| Crown Royal | vs | Fireball |
| 0 | 1 | |
 | Monday 10:30 PM |  |
| Capt. Morgan | vs | Jack Daniels |
| 2 | 5 |
| Tuesday 7:20 PM |  |
| Fireball | vs | Jägermeister |
| 3 | 7 |
| Tuesday 8:55 PM |  |
| Jack Daniels | vs | Espolòn |
| 2 | 1 |
 | Tuesday 10:30 PM |  |
| Grey Goose | vs | 酒 (Sake) |
| 5 | 2 |
 | Wednesday 9:00 PM |  |
| Wild Turkey | vs | Absinthe |
| 4 | FINAL | 3 |
How the hell are we almost 20 years in and we still don’t have any end of season awards??? What is it we even pay for!? Certainly not quality officiating.
– Shart Ross (4th period mvp)
– Silky (best hands, least effort on defense)
– Lady Bang (most PIMS)
– Jack Asshole (least valuable captain/worst draft)
There’s plenty more puns to be had here, but you get the point. There’s enough craftsmen in this league to make this shit happen from scraps in your basements/sheds/garages… just saying
Major Award Winners 2022
1)Barrington
2)Frain
3)I mean they keep stats for that so waste your own time looking up who takes a lot of penalties. I’d have to think Dan Berk, Eddleman, Fat and Smooth, and Mediros have to be in the conversation.
4)Stossel aka “Arizona Clarkie”
Looked up the #3 penalty thing, it’s resident Canadian Taylor Pilote…congrats Big Man!!! Quite an accomplishment.
Although this announcment is about as important as “hey, somebody left their shampoo in the shower”, I would like to share that my not-so-illustrious 15 year Spring League ‘career’ will come to an end this week. I realize I’ll never be able to catch Sheen in the all-time points standings so it’s time to hang them up.
Needless to say, this has been the most fun I’ve had every Spring since I first moved to Mt. Airy. You guys are the absolute best, funniest and most fucked up characters I’ve ever had the pleasure to (try) and play hockey with. Thanks for letting me embarrass myself out there year after year and for allowing me to overstay my welcome in this league by about 10 years too many.
I look forward to coming back on occassion to drink and heckle, which was my only strong suit to begin with and perhaps the commish might even let me call play-by-play for a game here or there. Hopefully I’ll run into you knuckleheads (quite literally) on the ice somewhere down the road but my WSL days are over after this week.
Cheers,
G-Train/Bevs
3-time champ!!
Great career, Bevs!
you had more points than Emerson this season. going out on top!
So that frickin’ cooler lasted longer than you did! ????
??????
OH NO!! You are the “MAN” you are the “DUDE” ..dude…you can’t leave… This is Bullshit!!!
Best nicknames for 2022
– Pie Domi
– LevBarn
Honorable mentions: “The Mute”, getting “Bruce’d”, “Wiss flu”, “RoboTom”
Great idea on awards, we should find a way to put them on the site or do them at intermission or pregame of the title game. We also nicknamed the quarrelsome ref that looks like Cherp “Twerp”, and I’d like to submit that we call Babyak (occasionally known as White Wang due to his high demeanor) “Leafblower” due to his penchant for doing that weird stick swing he does instead of stick handling.
Excellent idea. We will need a DJ, 7 large black dildos, and few quippers to hand out the awards.
Tonight predticktions:
Jaeger 2-0 (no one ever scores when jaeger plays)
JD 6-4 with and empty netter
Sake 9-8 in shootout fashion ending in an actual shootout
Fuck you. Stossel is a treasure. Pay LaCorte.
Predickshuns…
Jaeger over Fireball 4-2
JD over Espolon 5-4
Goose over Sake Bomb 6-3
First of all, you can’t even make moonshine in 6 minutes – seven is the key number here!!!
I hope we get the cosmonaut to make predictions again, but I fear Vlad may be busy shining Putin’s beefy tits so here goes:
Jaeger 3-1, and Schoup drops his stick but manages to gets a five minute major for butt-ending, while Felix and Lennertz IV combine to get away with four combined actual butt ends. Expect a few goals from Curt McGurt.
Espolon 6-4, Dom rides his hot streak and gets an empty-netter to officially outscore LevBarn on the season, and also accidentally shits his calves while simultaneously belching. Crybaby steals Frain’s jersey after the game b/c he misses the scent.
Goose 8-5, seems like a good revenge game after The Flood Incident. Ben “Not the Mama! Not the Mama!” Hayward has a big game and inspires Domi 3.14149 to go back to bare face next year. Abrams scores 5 points by continuing to do the opposite of what the hecklers tell him. Late game knuckles a possibility, and that’s just in the Sake locker room!
I’ll be sure to wake my guy up for his big goalie playoff game tonight at 9?
Saturday morning Walnut Lane tee times available!
I’ve got the 9:00, 9:10, 9:20 and 9:30am tee times reserved at Walnut Lane ($45 for the round w/ cart paid to course + $5 cash for wagering). Best ball, 1 stroke off for every 4 empty beer cans at the end of the round. Who wants a spot in this year’s Losers Golf Outing?
Make sure you bring me for leftovers and bagels you grub
Dont spoil us with Monday’s box scores and then not put in the rest!
Corey dont forget to bring extra Tupperware Saturday, fess has quite the lineup planned for the day!
Fess wasn’t the only person bringing the beef yesterday huh ?