Quarterfinals – 2018

Tuesday 7:20 PM
Troopers vs Scoundrels
1 FINAL 6
Tuesday 8:55 PM
Hunters vs Imperials
4 FINAL 1
Tuesday 10:30 PM
Sith vs Jedi
7 FINAL 3
Wednesday 9:00 PM
Raiders vs Hutts
0 FINAL 5


46 thoughts on “Quarterfinals – 2018

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    Scoundrels 6-4
    Imperials 5-3
    Jedi 3-2

    the lonely wednesday night game is perfect since no one even knew those teams were in the league anyway

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    Listen up 5’s a 10 is talking! Ok weaklings , i went 2 for 2 last night…well 3 for 3 if you count making The Little Rocketman my bitch so here comes the Orange Emperors 2nd night picks.
    Troopers 7-Scoundrels 5
    Troopers have a better goalie and are all warmed up from putting whoopin’ on the Frain train last night. Expect the Commish to weep like that pussy Rodman did last night upon taking defeat…Sad!! Just because the pinheads on fake news CNN are talking about denuclearizing expect Evil Flood to drop a nuclear elbow in Laux’s face ending his evening early.

    Hunters 3-Imperials 2
    Too much sockless goalie and Hunter Tryhards but this one could go either way admittedly. Ill hook the winner of this one up with my daughter Tiffany. No one knows what she does anyways so im sure she wouldn’t mind a little action. But , yea…Hunters.

    Sith 5-Jedi 3
    Too much old time experience on Sith . plus i like that the one guys wears Jean shorts…reminds me of someone you’d see at one of my rallies. In fact i expect the Sith to beat up on little Joey P like they beat up protesters at my rallies…”get em out of here”! Until tomorrow-The Donald

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    Shout out to some of our notable 4th period improvements this year:
    – Laux has been hitting the stands and the tequila way harder than last.
    – Nude Pissington managed to keep it in his pants (minus), but I’ve seen him outright win 3 different 4th periods this year, and a goon suspension to boot (plus)! MVP candidate.
    – Mike Gillespie (Raiders) and Elefant (Hunters) were one-man-bands most nights, but they found beer when their teammates brought none.
    – Jorts + Shit = ….Shorts?

    Predictions:
    Scoundrels 8, Troopers 4 – Troopers score some garbage-time goals after Anus approves the addition of a 2nd Aubrey to their lineup during the 3rd period.

    Imperials 6, Hunters 2 – the Imperials’ bullshit “C” guy who looks like Sunshine from Remember the Titans provides too much depth for the Tieboys to handle

    Sith vs Jedi – RECUSED!!! Sorry Trump! I predict Clearly will play with his 7-iron

    Hutts 7, Raiders 3 – Heavy D, suddenly the WSL Adam Oates, has a big game and threatens to backcheck during several shifts

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    I’m too old and too drunk to know if I did this right. But I love this. I miss this. It matters to me in the long term. Thanks for competing with and against me. It matters so much:. Soundtrack “into the wild.” You’re all great hockey players. I’m proud of what this is… even as I leave my minivan to be picked up tomorrow. See you in the fall after you accept your defeat to th e scoundrels.

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    No, just wasted! They do sound very similar. Since Flood is busy getting his beauty rest, the real scores were:
    4-1 Hunters (or maybe 3-1)
    7-3 Sith

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    Hutts vs Raiders

    Listen up lightweights!! The Donald goes 2 for 3 again last night including picking the Hunters upset and the downfall of the Laux. No other world leader but Trump could pick mens league outcomes so bigly!! Speaking of the Eddlemonkey…i remember a time before he hiked up Brokeback mountain and never came back down that i might have like his League of Extraordinarily Retarted Gentleman to pull one out tonight but those days are in the past, and their little friend Parkin also tore his outer labia when some hipster ran him over…weak!!! Youth prevails and the Raiders are old…5-3 Hutts. Gotta go, Kerryanne just brought over a bucket of KFC and Judge Judy is coming on. Until next time-The Donald

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    If the Hutts weren’t total faggots they would have a Princess Leia slave girl instead of a clip of Gibbons sitting on a throne eating frogs & shit. Your days as viable contenders for the cup are numbered – so bring us slave girls!
    PS – If I recollect, Jabba actually DID do closed captioning before it was a PC mandate (Jenkins).

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      Apparently Kelchner had part of his mask broken on Monday, and legend has it that Evil Flood knocked Jenkins into Kelchner on Tuesday, wherein our hero got his ear caught in the mask and damn near split it in two. I saw the photos, and they are gnarly. Early word is that Kelchner will use his mask to perform an on-ice bris during the relegation round.

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    Scoundrels vs. Sith at 9:15 am. that sounds like a win / win situation for the Hecklers ; Peanut Gallery. The loser is going to lubed up and ready for the championship like never seen before. Good luck to the final 4whores.

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    Where’s the Commie prognosticator when you need him?

    Answer: probably strogan-off

    (Russian joke)

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    Ok weaklings listen up, the Donald called another one. Lets move onto new business…

    Scoundrels-Sith
    Laux has an old man injury …weak!! Jenkins has blood coming out of his wherever. . .pathetic!! Sith has an edge in goaltending…and some real veterans that have been there before. The Donald calls it for Sith. 5-4

    Hutts-Hunters
    Get these weak Hunters flunkies outta here. He without socks can’t keep this dead team alive anymore….it reminds me of Weekend at Bernies. That’s one of my favorite movies, Kellyanne had a screening of it for me and General Kelly the other night in the presidential movie theatre catered by KFC. It was pretty cool. Anyway Hutts biggly 7-2!!

    Hutts-Sith
    Tough one, really could go either way but remember when i said youth prevails? Whos older , Shoup and BWH or Mike D and his new girlfriend Nealis? Hutts 5-4(ot) Lock it up…The Donald out!

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    All this time I was looking for the Ruskie and this orange man with a comb-over answers my call. Is it possible that the real DT was the Russian typing tough guy all along?

    What do we have like, Facebook level security around here?

    What is going on back there?

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      My crystal ball is cloudy on predictions but I can say I will be getting as fucked up as Dean was Tuesday. Hopefully without the turning gay part.

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