Playoff Week

Mildcard Game #1
9:00 PM
Clowns vs Aliens
1 Box Score 4
Mildcard Game #2
10:35 PM
Nightmares vs Chuckys
2 Box Score 6
Quarterfinal #1
7:20 PM
Aliens vs Nosferatu
4 Box Score 8
Quarterfinal #2
8:55 PM
Chuckys vs Predators
6 Box Score 2
Quarterfinal #3
10:30 PM
Campers vs Hellraisers
4 Box Score 1
Quarterfinal #4
9:00 PM
Horrors vs Chainsaws

35 thoughts on “Playoff Week

  1. 1

    Aliens over Clowns
    Nightmares over Chunkys
    Nose and Preds over both of those scrubs
    Campers Hellraisers – both teams could combine as one and take on their next opponent and still not make it through.
    Saws over Horrors Film
    Nose Preds final

  2. 5

    Bold statement by WSLF#1 regarding the quality of Campers and HRs, considering HellRaisers already trimmed the NoseHair-atu only a few weeks ago. Anyway, onto my predictions:

    1. Eddleman’s League of Extraordinarily Retarded Gentlemen over Wet-dreams by 6 goals. Turning point will be when Eddleman injures Nightmares fill-in Carey Price by sorry-not-sorry crashing into him for the fourth time, causing him to be replaced by a jug of Nude Pissington’s finest.

    2. Clowns over E.T. By 2. This one will be all about intimidation. The Clowns have much more experience, meaning insane tattoos and time in the pen, than the Aliens, and will use that to dive and shiv their way to victory.

    More to come tomorrow, as the human attention span is only so long.

  3. 5

    More premature prediculations:

    3. Nosehair over Bozos by 11,000. The Phantom Menace and Schoupy-Doopy-Dooo are just to much to handle, and The Berks wiggle their dicks at Bruce at the end.

    4. Preds over Chuckys by 2. Preddy Savard breaks the spin-move record, and Timmy The Gash has a few G’s while LaLa’s styrofoam pads keep Chuckles at bay, while Brady provides a solid 3rd-line presence, and the Pocket Sedins lay some pipe, too (Skeet-skeet-skeet!!!).

    5. Saws over Candy Corn by 2. Frain locks down some insurance sales during the 2nd intermission, and takes a quick moment to bank a few goals off of CryBaby’s dickhole while telling him how special a hockey player he is. Jorts uses the 2nd intermission to grab a shovel and scoop Dom’s snow pile, then dumps it on his bare calves. Bock kills a guy with a trident in response.

    6. Human Resources over Pampers by 1. Depth just barely trumps Dip Breff and unabomber beards.

    Where is Val?!?!?! We need the only opinion that is guaranteed to make it to the White House.

    • 0

      We at Jose Cuervo would like to apologize for the pain and suffering caused by the litany of inaccuracies in the above statements. Anonymous Helmet was arrested for Predicting Under the Influence last night, as the fingerprints found in the Cheeto dust on his phone were an exact match.

  4. 0

    Lala, He of the Styrofoam Pads is on Nosferatu…not Predators FTR. Other than that spot on from where I sit.

  5. 3

    Part 3:

    7. Nose-farts over Big White Pin-Cushions by 1. HellRaisers lead in the 3rd until Croce yells “MENACE, ACTIVATE!!!” Nova Scotia Laux then goes Full Phantom and buries a few late ones. Stossel laughs maniacally. That last statement was merely an observation.

    8. Saws under Sexual Predators by 3. Frain loses track of time while nailing Sheen to the bench, causing him to miss the first half of the game. This causes a chain reaction, as CryBaby misses his nap and gets into a stick fight with Evil Flood and Bock. In an upset, Flood scalps Bock for the win, and wears his flawlessly gelled locks as a trophy wig, as is WSL custom.

    9. Judge Dreadlock over Evil Mr. Clean by 2. Despite eating 50 lbs of smoked ribs before the game, the Preds play hangry for the win. The turning point comes when the Pocket Sedins (aka Skeeter-Scooter) finally ride on each other’s shoulders in a giant trenchcoat, then jump out when the Nosers least expect it like a modern day Trojan Pony. Flood nods knowingly. The team refuses to drink from the cup and instead uses it to immediately smoke crack rocks for the first time in several seasons. Flood shakes his head knowingly.

  6. 8

    Look out. The Pisk’homos only lost to Nosehairs twice by 1 goal. Catching the old man stride late in the season? Merrigan should also be fresh after taking 14 games off

  7. 1

    Don’t sleep on the Aliens …they kept it close with Nostradamus twice this year

  8. 1

    Aliens Lost 3-2 and 4-2 against Noseferatu this year and also received 21 pre-season votes to win it all. Do not take a nap on them.

    • 1

      remember when my man pizko smashed the score keepers fortune cookie. Most guys said he couldn’t do it, he was a virgin, he never been past second base. Well guess what he delivered. he cracked the cookie open and kissed her bean.

      His fortune:

      don’t let the undead give you head.

      She was more than just a scorekeeper….. BRO

  9. 3

    Now that the Predators are eliminated, it would be only right to have an Aliens versus Predators consolation game.

  10. 2

    It shames me to root for Monte and Frain. LAux is a vacuum cleaner fraud and he is the only reason that team is good. Cherp may be the ugliest person to ever step ice, rivalring Scotty Pippen. Booty STILL turns the puck over way too much and Shoup is still a coat tailing defenseman, he has yet to add any value to any team in 13 years. Manbearpig, eat a jar of shit. Marshall, you are actually a cool guy. Nino, no one knows you, go away and fuck you too Stossel you Crosby loving slut.

    Go Frain, its your turn!

  11. 4

    I wish I had predicted that BWH would suck a big one last night, could have gotten something right. Pulling out all the stops for the consolation shit show.

  12. 5

    One of the overlooked stories of the season is the improbable success of teams that have a high proportion of “Dudes” on them. Who are the Dudes you ask? They are the older B & C players of the WSL who play in a shitty four team league over at OYR. What accounts for this? Certainly not talent. It could be that the hockey gods chose to give a few broke-assed old men one last shot at glory before they are relegated to a life of Viagra, listening to the 98.1 WOGL and watching Matlock. Maybe they were hardened on the anvil of ice and steel whilst playing against legions of 20 year old millennial punks who could be their sons. Or maybe…
    I am at a loss for words. Have a good day at our own miniature Valhalla, known as Tournament Day.

  13. 4

    Can we announce awards this year??? We should start off with the auto-winners:
    Shart Ross: WAAAAHHH!!!
    Rocket Retard: Frain
    Bettman Sullivan Award for most 2nd assists: WAAAAHHH!!!
    Bock Choi Award for most Bockian Hacks: Bock
    The Mikey D’s Goalie Award for Quitting Mid-Season: Josh-O

    I will nominate some other awards tonight…

    • 1

      [Name Redacted] didn’t quit Nightmares, he was relocated to an anonymous location for his own safety and well-being.

  14. 2

    And now the electable awards!!!

    Calder (a C*NT) Award – awarded to the ‘Leaguer who did the most damage to his marriage in a single season. Past winners include BWH in 2013 and 2009-2011. Nominations open.

    Rookie of the Year: Player adjudged to be most proficient at heckling, drinking moonshine, and embarrassing themselves in their first full year at WSL. Previous winners include BWH, Stossel, MooseCock, and Father Brotherton. Nominations open.

    MVP: Award for lack of sportsmanship, lack of perseverance, and lack of dedication to hockey. This is the guy who set the tone for the entire league – passing out on lawn chairs, sleeping in cars, having “EAST FALLS” tattooed on their stomache,, inventing the pork roll, bringing a fucking smoker to the game, creating nicknames and convincing people to quit because they are too dignified for this low-brow abortion of hockey. Previous winners include Tour de Force seasons like 2012 Danny Berk and 2014 MooseCock. My nomination: who set the tone more than Nude Pissington??? Runner up might be Eddleman for the combo of stats and ability to close out the 4th.

    Can Man Award: player voted by his peers to get the fuck out forever. My vote goes to Merrigan, but anyone who missed 8+ 4th periods can sit and spin in my book, veteran or not. That includes Murfers.

    Times Ban of the Year: player decided on by WSL higher ups to GTFO forever.

  15. 0

    The combo of beers/points is legendary. That includes in-game consumption. There is no competition.

  16. 1

    We need a football BWH. Play some two hand touch bellow the diaper. Maybe a folding table and chairs set up at center ice for a poker game. Bruce is the dealer.

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