…..I don’t know how to start this off so I’ll start with the end and fill
in the holes

…..I pissed my car on the way home. No joke and no small amount. Road sodas are great, especially when you leave the rink, drive around the block just to pull back in for ‘one more’. I thought I took a piss
before I left but that is neither here nor there. I’ve got about a 45
min ride home and you don’t want to speed to draw any attention to
yourself so you take it slow, full stops at all stop signs, you guys
know the drill. Well about 30 mins into my ride, out of now where,
I’ve got to piss. I REALLY have to piss! I know where I am and don’t
want a visit from Horsham’s finest with my dick in my hand pissing on
Limkelin pike so I duck into a side street that I know of that is
quite. It is nice and dark (good…at first), the street light must
have blow out. I stop the car, turn the lights out and pull the
emergency brake (after all…no point in blowing my cover with bright
red lights in a neighborhood at 1:30 on a Tuesday night). Now I
thought it would be good that is was so dark but remember I’ve got to
piss and can’t think all that clearly, plus I am moving like I’ve got
to piss, every motion is a hurried one and no time is wasted….barely
pull my dick out, rip the lid off the empty water bottle and attempt to
fill the bottle up with the nights poison. Except its dark and I can’t
line my pee-hole up with the bottle. And my good ol’ college try
resulted in the pee-hole being lined up with the rim of the opening, so
when I open up the flood gates…….SPRAY……kinda like when you put
your thumb over the end of a garden hose. I frantically try and make
some mid-stream adjustments but to no avail…I am pissing all over my
car and I can’t stop it. All I can think to do is unbuckle my
seatbelt, and get out of the car to finish pissing in the middle of the
street. Which felt like an eternity.

Yet another reason not to get a new car. Imagine how mad you would be if you pissed all over your new car.

A description of an event or situation which is characterized by an ridiculously inordinate amount of frenetic activity. Disorganization and chaos to an absurd degree. Often associated with extreme ineptitude/incompetence and or sudden and unexpected failure.